Why Goals Don’t Work

In the book, Goal Free Living, Stephen Shapiro tells us that his research of business leaders revealed that the most fulfilled people were the least goal-oriented and the most spontaneous. “Road maps for life might lead to material gain, but there is a good chance if you follow them unquestioningly, you’ll lose yourself.”

Shapiro articulates the following reasons that goals don’t work:

• Most people set goals that aren’t their own; that is, goals are set on someone else’s agenda (i.e., the organization or a spouse).

• Goals keep us focused on the future, as in “I’ll be happy when …”

• By being future-focused, goals contribute to our missing out on all the opportunities around us.

• Goals court failure. Even if we achieve them, goals seldom match the dream we imagined.

I would like to add another reason that goals don’t work: They don’t work because they don’t take into account who you are as you work towards your goals. We see the goal. We don’t normally ask “Who do I need to be to achieve the goal?”

Personally, there was a time when I was often in the ‘why zone’ … being ‘why-ney’ (asking why in a whiney voice), pitting myself against authority figures and then wondering why I was not promoted. After all, I had a strong work ethic, did an excellent job, had great outcomes, and yet … I would often be passed over.

I wanted a workplace Cinderella experience, but now realize that I had more in common with the ugly step sisters. It was when I learned to honour a higher version of myself that I began to experience personal and professional success. 

Through this learning on my own personal journey as well as my work with hundreds of coaching clients over the past five years, The F.O.C.U.S. Formula™ has evolved. This new kind of FOCUS goal is a system for keeping an eye on the ‘real prize’ … the sense of accomplishment that comes from defining the highest version of oneself and honoring personal values.

What is the F.O.C.U.S. Formula™?

The F.O.C.U.S. Formula™ is a way to articulate a new kind of goal. It can be defined as:

• A goal that is focused on what one wants to experience rather than what one wants to get. Over the years, when I would ask clients questions like, “What do you want to be able to say after that meeting?” the responses were consistent: “I want to be able to say that I remained calm and appeared confident” as opposed to things like, “I want to be able to say that I won the argument.”

• A formula to articulate a new kind of goal, one based on a personal vision of success that links to an ideal version of oneself. Most of us don’t want to behave in ways that are not aligned with our values and, yet, at the end of the day, most of us commit subtle acts that do not reflect our best selves.

• A theme for the story-line you want to underscore your life. A F.O.C.U.S. statement can sometimes feel like a ‘lie.’ For example, I used to repeat a F.O.C.U.S. statement “I love my life, I love my work” at a time when I most definitely did not! However, it has become a self-fulfilling prophecy. F.O.C.U.S. Statements thus reflect what Ben and Rosamund Zander (The Art of Possibility) call ‘a lie in transition toward the truth.’

What are the Benefits of Using the F.O.C.U.S. Formula™?

F.O.C.U.S. Formula™ statements:

• Free us from the rigidity of goals that can be limiting and restrictive.

• Remind us of the Highest Version of ourselves.

• Pull us away from behavior that is not aligned with our values.

• Relieve stress. Try it. Try repeating the words “I am calm and confident” slowly in your mind five times and notice how you feel. What is different?

• Prime our unconscious minds to influence our behavior in a positive way. Research reported in the book, “Blink” (Malcolm Gladwell) concludes that the words that we take into our consciousness have an immediate impact on our unconscious which influences our behavior in ways that we are not even aware of. This is called ‘priming the unconscious.’ What thoughts are priming your unconscious?

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CoachesCanada.com is thrilled to announce the outstanding finalists for the prestigious Canadian Coach of the Year Award. The Award was established by CoachesCanada.com to nurture and recognize personal, business, executive, and corporate coaching excellence in Canada by honoring a full-time coach who demonstrates dedication to moving coaching forward in Canada, and around the world, by their professional conduct, personal qualities and high-level commitment to their clients and to the industry. The Award is the culmination of a year-long planning process by coach volunteers.

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At Aegis, We Approach Leadership from Three Perspectives:

• The Art of Leadership – What You Do

• The Heart of Leadership – Who You Are

• The Joy of Leadership – The Difference You Make

Please visit www.UnleashingTheLeaderWithin.com for more info or contact Coach Sheila Kelly Sheila@UnleashingTheLeaderWithin.com to discuss your needs

Employees embrace the Aegis Coaching philosophy because it is simple ...it is sensible and it is practical.

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Sheila Kelly
Aegis Coaching Services
Sheila@unleashingtheleaderwithin.com

Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada

902-462-8441

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